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A Day of Meals During a Boring Apocalypse

A Day of Meals During a Boring Apocalypse
At Table of Contents, the author of a new release provides a food/drink menu that’s themed to their book. Today, Brandi Wells offers breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert for her new book from Civil Coping Mechanisms, This Boring Apocalypse.

Breakfast: Have a piece of meat, rare and bloody. It doesn’t matter what kind of meat. Whatever kind of meat you prefer is fine. If you don’t eat meat, a portabella mushroom will do. Don’t wash the dirt off your mushroom. Pull it from the earth. Pull it out of the ground and be delighted. Or, eat your blood meat, slurping and shameless. Let blood and bits of chewed gristle drop from my mouth. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t be ashamed of what you are and what all of us are. Grind your teeth together and feel satisfied.

Lunch: Lemon. Lemon lemon lemon. Lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon. Lemon.

Perhaps standing beneath a lemon tree will be enough, but who can say?

Dinner: A stew of neck bone, rosemary, and sweet potato, cooked in a parsnip broth. Cook the parsnips until they are mush. Crush the rosemary in your fingers and inhale. Feel clean in what you do. Feel determined. Feel your body start to take the shape of a menace. Feel taller and more powerful. Tower over everyone. Feel clean. Feel towering. Raise your arms up. Swallow and raise your arms over your head as though you might clutch at anything within your reach. You might crush it into a fine dust in your hand. You might toss the fine dust into the wind and then what? Then what?

Dessert: Wait for a cake to appear. Don’t make a cake. Don’t buy a cake. Sometimes cakes just happen. One instant there is a cake and then there isn’t a cake. Stand with your hands out and wait. Look behind your back. Over there on the horizon, is that cake? Don’t sleep until your very small but beautiful cake appears and you are able to consume it. Don’t lie down. Don’t let your eyelids droop. Be vigilant so that you are one who deserves a cake. Arms out, palms out. Back straight, shoulders squared. Focused, stay focused. This cake is coming.

Real Pants

Real Pants

Real Pants was founded in 2015 as a website about literature and the new literary community. If you have an article you'd like us to consider, please see our submission guidelines.
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About The Author

Real Pants

Real Pants was founded in 2015 as a website about literature and the new literary community. If you have an article you'd like us to consider, please see our submission guidelines.

Real Pants

Posi but not teenage

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