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Author: Clam Simmons

Is the Hungarian Bono Impersonator Better Than Bono?

  Here’s what we know-the bulk of these videos were filmed in Hungary on camcorder quality pixels. They usually involve the Bono impersonator staring directly at the camera, sometimes the camera pans away from Bono’s face and towards the countryside, or train tracks or a burning cardboard box-really whatever you got.     Rats off to the impersonator because he does a lot of heavy lifting to ensure that whatever U2 song he imitates-he at least attempts to make dance, fashion and hair choices that are Bono appropriate. Sometimes the details are really accurate. Other times its more of...

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Oil Can Boyd Wrote the Best Sports Memoir in 2012

  There can be no middle ground on Oil Can Boyd’s They Call Me Oil Can. It is either the best sports memoir ever written or it is the most intriguing sports memoir ever written. There are a number of reasons why this feels true but I cannot start without explaining Boyd’s wholesale rejection of the sports memoir as a genre. I love sports memoirs but they usually feel like a USA Today weekend character profile that has been inflated 180 pages with 35 pages of glossy pictures jammed in the middle and 4 pages of stats in the back....

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18 Months in the Longmont Potion Castle Cult

Longmont Potion Castle in its most pristine and addicting form is a series of analog recordings of a metalhead from Colorado delivering strings of non-sequitur prank phone calls to unsuspecting citizens and customer service representatives. There was a year and a half where I stopped listening to music and only listened to Longmont Potion Castle. I am certain I ruined thousands of conversations in that 18 month stretch in the late Dub Bush period hoping to shoehorn in a reference to Dugan Nash or Dick Trickle. In reviewing the last three sentences I am not certain that I did not...

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Real Pants

Good hair, crooked gait

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