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Author: Karl Taro Greenfeld

Movie Reviews with Karl: Furious, Going Clear

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. (Any similarities in plot between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) Furious 7 Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Ludacris, Dwayne Johnson and  Jason Statham The latest installment of the Fast and Furious franchise has Domenic Toretta (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) finally consummating their tormented relationship and moving into a suburban Cape Cod-style house and settling...

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Movie Reviews with Karl: Get Hard Gunmen

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. (Any similarities in plot between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) Get Hard Starring Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell Will Ferrell is the CEO of an investment bank whose corruption and mismanagement has resulted in thousands of employees losing their jobs. Additionally, he is being prosecuted under stringent new Dodd-Frank banking regulations and sentenced by an over-zealous liberal judge...

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Movie Reviews with Karl: Accidental Insurgent

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. (If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. Any plot similarities between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) Accidental Love Starring Jessica Biel, Jake Gyllenhaal, James Brolin, Tracy Morgan, Catherine Keneer, and Bill Hader During the waning years of the Bush administration, Jessica Biel is a carhop in love with the local sheriff, who proposes to her in a restaurant with structural issues. Moments after saying “I...

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Movie Reviews with Karl: New Liam Neeson Home Sweet Hell

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. (If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. Any plot similarities between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) New Liam Neeson Movie Starring Liam Neeson, Ed Harris, one of the guys from Right Said Fred Liam Neeson and Ed Harris both grew up in pre-gentrification Hell’s Kitchen, and put in stints in the Irish Mafia. Liam Neeson was the Irish Mafia’s Rookie of the Year in 1982,...

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Movie Reviews with Karl: Chappie Marigold Hotel

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. (If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. Any plot similarities between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) Chappie Starring Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver, Die Antwoord and the guy from The Second Exotic Marigold Hotel In 2016, the first robotic police units are deployed, and there are immediate issues as they don’t detain and kill unarmed African-Americans at anything like the rate their human predecessors did. “The...

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Movie Reviews with Karl: The Lazarus Business

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. (If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. Any plot similarities between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) The Lazarus Effect Starring Olivia Wilde and the guy from Togetherness Science is once again under scrutiny as a potential force for both good and evil. Olivia Wilde and the guy fromTogetherness are professors of chemistry at a for profit university struggling in the face of over-zealous Federal government...

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Movies Reviews with Karl: Duff, Focus

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. (If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. Any plot similarities between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) Duff Starring the girl who was on Parenthood and Jeremy from One Direction The girl from Parenthood is the least attractive female in a group of very hot women who hang around a high school, molesting the male students. (“Oh no, please hot ladies, don’t molest us,” they plead...

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Movie Reviews with Karl: Fifty Shades, Evolve

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. (If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. Any plot similarities between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) Fifty Shades of Gray Based on the best-selling series of novels, and starring Anne Hathaway “Sex after menopause?” Asked the preview for this film, “try Osphena, for painful sex due to menopause.” But then that turned out not to be the preview, but an advertisement for a new pharmaceutical...

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Movie Reviews with Karl: Seventh Jupiter Rising

Karl Taro Greenfeld reviews movies without seeing them. He watches trailers, or parts of the trailers. (If the movie is a sequel, he has not seen any earlier films in the series. He basically doesn’t watch any movies. Any plot similarities between his reviews and the actual movies are coincidental.) Jupiter Rising Written and directed by the guy and the gal who did The Matrix (and Speed Racer and the David Mitchell novel adaptation of Bone Clocks) Starring Mila Kunis and the guy from Game of Thrones Mila Kunis is a typical, young, American woman who, she gradually realizes,...

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Good hair, crooked gait

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