Spell to Forget Your Body

I keep coming across people who believe they have bodies. “Eva, my body, blah blah, my body,” they say. I try not to laugh, but the idea is just so absurd. “Your body?” I say. “You, having a body? Listen to yourself right now.”

I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad. This is a common misconception. Why do you think so many people wear clothes and brush their hair? There’s not even a conspiracy to blame, just plain old denial. Because who wants to admit they’re a floating ball of slime? Nobody, that’s who.

Let me tell you how far back this goes. We’re talking Stone Age, when the first cave person saw their reflection and was like, “Nope. No, thanks.”

This is when the first ‘body’ was born. And like inventions invented at the same time in different places, this ‘body’ was simultaneously born into the minds of many cave people, taking on slightly varying forms. It’s been passed down ever since, our great inheritance. Like how baby ducks instantly know how to swim, this projected ‘body’ is merely a matter of instinct.

You may be wondering, why am I still calling us ‘people’ if we’re really balls of slime? Because we’ve always been that. People = balls of slime.

But there is an upside. Once you realize all bodies are imaginary, you’re just like, ‘Whatever, ball of slime.’

You may be thinking, ‘Okay, well why not cuddle with some lions? Kiss a shark? Stop washing my hands?’ Sure, that makes sense.

Except it doesn’t at all! Even balls of slime can die. Pull yourself together.

If you’re having trouble accepting this, that’s understandable. Here’s a spell that may help:

Stop looking in the mirror.

For a long time.

Years.

Maybe your whole life.

You’ll probably forget your body.

Otherwise, I dunno. It’s a lot to process.

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