Things I Do Not Watch When Feeding A Baby
Here is my highly subjective list of shows that I just can’t hang with when feeding baby. These are also shows I wouldn’t watch while eating. Too emotional / stressful / violent for me to deal with. I’ll stick to The Office for a good dose of digestive giggles (terrible title for a book, but you can have it).
Luther: Is it okay to feed your baby while having adrenaline coursing through your veins? Or while watching a person get stabbed, frozen, tortured, murdered, or to see their head ripped through a ceiling? If so, then Luther is the show for you. It’s not the show for me. This is one scary ass show. It might be more violent than Game of Thrones, if that’s possible. I can hardly watch at all, much less while feeding a baby.
But the on the plus side, Idris Elba. Which is a big plus.
Game of Thrones: It’s not the violence that gets me (which is a big factor), but it’s the brutal loss of characters that I love. This is just a sad show to watch with my fave folks being slashed, stabbed, crushed, thrown from building, and raped.
No.
Restaurant Nightmares: This show is nothing but expired meat and cockroaches in every corner. I don’t think it’s good to feel nauseous while feeding your baby, but that is how you will feel if you watch this show. Also, immediately post-partum it’s very annoying to see Gordon Ramsey stomp around and scream at people, even if they are purveyors of expired pork and cockroaches.
Real Housewives of Anywhere: I’m conflicted here because I have enjoyed watching this show in the past, but it’s the fighting and yelling that I find exhausting. See above. Except that here, we have ten women constantly doing the fighting and screaming. It’s too much.
Lost: I’m only putting this show on the list because Lost is so hard to follow with normal hormone levels, so I can’t imagine watching it while living with plunging and unbalanced hormones. Post-partum brains are known to be foggy, thus making a show that has a lot of mysterious fog already in it not ideal to watch.
Though I miss Hurley. That guy was the best.
Call the Midwife: Don’t call the midwife in the months pre and post birth. This is such a beautiful and excellent show, but it is so emotional. I can’t imagine watching it in the vicinity of giving birth. It’s just too much. But I just can’t. It’s too much. I’d rather see violence than feel all these feelings.
Happy watching! But not like this.
XO
Natalie Lyalin is the author of two books of poetry, Blood Makes Me Faint, But I Go For It (Ugly Duckling Presse 2014), and Pink & Hot Pink Habitat (Coconut Books 2009), as well as a chapbook, Try A Little Time Travel (Ugly Duckling Presse 2010). She is the co-editor of Natural History Press. She lives in Philadelphia.
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